World Cancer Day and the Inspirational Survivor in my Life

I’m angry.  I have no trouble accepting that imperfection is interesting, struggle shapes character, and life is never fair (a paradigm which I am blessed to be on the fortunate side of).  However, the disproportionately bad cards that some people are dealt can just infuriate me. 

Today is World Cancer Day, a day to spread awareness, share in our support, and to celebrate survivors.  This day/week has special meaning this year as tomorrow is a major surgery day for my dear friend Megan and Friday marks another milestone in her battle.  Megan is young, vibrant, warm, smart, and adventurous.  She also happens to be a cancer survivor.  For those of you who do not know, Megan was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 21 and was told it was metastatic soon after (read more in my February, 2013 post).  This Friday is her six year “cancerversary” meaning she is one strong lady and has defied the odds. 

Celebrating Megan's Birthday

Unfortunately, the odds are not always in Megan’s favor.  Soon after the New Year, a nasty biopsy confirmed fears that Megan had a dual diagnosis of melanoma.  That’s right folks, not just one cancer diagnosis before 30 but two (never mind that these two diseases are considered exceptionally rare in younger populations).  Now THAT is unfair; THAT just makes me mad.

As an athlete, I’ve become accustom to my actions directly effecting an outcome.  If I train hard and do as my coach tells me, I will have positive results.  It may not be as perfect or happen as quickly as I would like but the correlation is more than coincidence.  However, in this situation, there is absolutely nothing that I can effectively do.  Sure, I can offer my love and support but that’s hardly a gama-ray magic tumor-zapper. 

Anger (and fear) can do two things, however: it can paralyze us or it can inspire us.  While I believe I could easily fall into the former category, Megan is one strong lady that isn’t paralyzed by fear, and if she’s not then I really have no excuses.  In honor of my girl, her surgery tomorrow, and her milestone on Friday, I offer a few lessons from Megan.

Never a Dull Moment with this Girl!

1. Defy Statistics: Megan was given a 15% chance of seeing 5 years and we’re hitting 6, take that, doctors!  Seeing that miracle, it is suddenly less shocking that a sedentary girl, seventy pounds overweight, would turn her life around and become an elite athlete within three years (ie me) and the journey I have in my inaugural pro season doesn’t look so daunting.
2. Eliminate Excuses: One of the most beautiful and inspiring things about Megan is that she continues to live LIFE.  While many people (myself included) would curl up in bed never to come out with the pain and struggles she faces, Megan puts on dancing shoes, shakes her booty, and celebrates being young and alive.  When I look at this, I have trouble establishing an acceptable excuse to hit the snooze button in lieu of the pool when the alarm goes off hours before dawn. 
3. Ignore Naysayers:  On a similar vein, people sometimes give Megan crap for not behaving like a “typical” cancer survivor.  Who are they to judge?!?!  This absolutely infuriates me but that girl somehow is able to say, “I don’t have time for that drama” and let it roll off her back.  I, on the other hand, get mad when people give me crap for my stringent eating/training regimen or, on the flip side, for not having particular training toys/equipment.  I’m pretty sure if Megan can forget her much more ignorant haters, I can ignore mine. 
4. Smile and Keep Going: This is probably the most obvious lesson.  My friend deals with more heartache, pain, and stress in her young life than most of us will ever come close to in our lives.  Yet, she keeps a smile on her face and has an infectious laugh that is always close to her lips.  That said, no matter my race misery, there is no reason a smile should leave my face, no matter the misery, while gritting through a race or tough training session. 
5. It Isn't Fair: I have never heard the words, "It isn't fair" out of Megan's mouth.  Ever.  Given the comparison, I don't think I have the right, EVER, to say that about a bad race, a slow metabolism, or the inability to train in warm sunny weather.  

On this World Cancer Day, send your love and support to the survivors in your life, and give thanks for the body and health you are blessed with.  Love you Megan!

Reflections and Resolutions

My, what a difference a year makes!  365 days ago I was stressed about my thesis, wondering where I would intern, and ecstatic to eek out a 6:30 mile.  Now, just one short year later, my thesis is long complete, my internship is done, and I seem to have gotten more than a little quicker.  As I seek full time employment and anxiously look towards my first pro racing season it is easy to get a bit overwhelmed about the future; but if history is any indication of the future, I know that there are good things ahead if I only allow them happen!   As I reflect upon 2013 and look towards 2014 three important categories come to mind: 1. The things/people I am most grateful for over the past year, 2. That which I am most excited for ahead, and 3. Setting those pesky resolutions!  Here are the top 5 in each category.

Thank you 2013!

1. First and foremost, I am thankful for my parents; they are my biggest sponsors and have supported me through my internship so that I have the opportunity to follow my career goals.  Along with this, I am incredibly grateful that I have been able to establish an adult relationship with them (which is so much different than what we had the last time I lived at home as a surly teenager).                                                                 
2. My coach Jon Mason at MP Multisport: hardly a week goes by that I am not pleasantly surprised by the progress he has led me to achieve. 
   
3. That after nearly 15 years of struggling, I have finally found a happy place in my nutrition and have achieved/ maintained a healthy weight.
4. Having graduated in a field I am passionate about and that my internship is complete! 
   
   
   
5. My support network: my friends, family, and teammates encourage and inspire me from near and far, thank you all!

CSU Tri Ladies!

Team in Havasu

A few of my dearest college friends: Will, Alex, and Tron

**See "Thankful Thirty" for an extended list!

2014 Excitement

1. So jazzed to be going head to head with the fastest women in the world as I venture into professional triathlon!
2. To start working as a music therapist, I know it won’t be long now.
3. Very pumped (and proud) to represent my brand new sponsors Hammer Nutrition and Blueseventy for the 2014 season. 

                                                       

   
   
4. Before the year is out I will be an auntie!
5. Excited for the unknown and for all of the possibilities which await.

Resolutions

1. To be more optimistic: I have realized that I am a bit of a pessimist.  I tend to catastrophize situations and I have been really working at being more positive/ resilient.  I got a cute little day calendar for Christmas to help with this goal!                                                                                                                                                       
2. To regularly send letters and greeting cards: my goal is one per week though that may be a bit ambitious.
3. To get faster, darn it (bring it MP Multisport)!  Goals are sub 4:30 for a 70.3, regularly getting under 2:10 (on a legit course) for Oly, and running at/ under :36 for the 10k.  I also hope to up the power on my bike and to have better starts and good pack placement in the water (good thing I’ve got Blueseventy on my side for that one!). 
                                                                                                       
4. ABS!  Continuing to work on my core both through strength training and through nutrition.  My goal of having a 6 pack by Christmas didn’t quite reach fruition and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think it may be correlated to more than a few holiday treats.  Kicking off the new year with a month without added sugar.  This is going to be tough but thankfully I have lots of delicious and natural options from HammerNutrition to keep me fueled!
5. To be more grateful for the many blessings in my life.  Each night I plan to write down (on my optimism calendar) something from the day that I am thankful for.  Looking back at these notes will remind me of what a truly amazing life I have.

Happy new year everyone, here’s to an amazing 2014!

2014 Sponsorship Announcement!

When I was about seven I reached an impasse at level one of gymnastics as a result of my inability to do anything but hang on the parallel bars.  At nine it seemed swimming wasn’t for me when my biggest accomplishment was a heat winner ribbon in the first of about 12 heats (for those unfamiliar the first is the slowest 8 of 96 swimmers).  In the seventh grade my knee pads and hair ribbons allowed me to be a very stylish member of the volleyball team on which I played the esteemed position of bench.  Throughout high school track and cross country I was no more than a medium sized fish even in a very little pond.  As a college student I moved between being twenty to sixty pounds overweight.  Needless to say, I still find myself in a state of disbelief to be finding myself entering into an elite level of sport at the age of twenty-seven.

And the unbelievable part doesn’t end there; I have offered sponsorship from two absolutely amazing companies for the 2014 season!  I am proud, honored, and humbled to announce that I will be representing HAMMER NUTRITION and BLUESEVENTY as an elite triathlete for the upcoming season.  I only applied for sponsorship from companies that I truly believe in and would endorse with or without sponsorship so I am especially thrilled that Hammer Nutrition and Blueseventy have chosen to believe in me the way that I believe in them.

Hammer nutrition offers a very wide array of products including gel, protein powder, fueling and recovery bars (including vegan and gluten free options), hydration options, essential supplements, and gear.  I am especially pleased to represent Hammer as their products are not only yummy (seriously, there’s not a bad flavor in the bunch) but are among the very few that fit my dietary needs and don’t bother my extremely finicky stomach.  Please check out Hammer for your fueling needs and make sure to give them my name as your referral!

Blueseventy specializes in wetsuits but offers so much more!  My first wetsuit (after the water-skiing wetsuit I borrowed from my mom for my first few races) and absolute preference is the BlueseventyHelix.  It fits like a glove even as my weight has changed and has survived nearly 30 races worth of abuse.  The material of the arms allows for the unique combination of a full sleeve while still having a feel for the water and the top-down zipper makes for easy removal when (and only when) I hit T1.  Blueseventy also has swimwear, speed suits,tri-suits, and gear (my goggles are still going strong despite their storage location in the back seat of my car).  If you want that first leg advantage over your competitors I highly recommend Blueseventy!

Thank you, thank you, thank you to Hammer and to Blueseventy for taking a chance on this new kid on the block, it feels good to finally get off the bench.  

Ready to sign on the dotted line

Aaaaand I'm official!

Carol of the Kettle-Bells: My Holiday Workout Playlist

Here it is as promised: festive little holiday themed workout playlist!  These are some pretty fun songs and, in my opinion, not too obnoxious (no Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer on this list).  I’ll be the first to admit this probably isn’t the best motivational tool for sprints or hill repeats but I hope it puts you in the spirit for a jolly ‘ol long run!

• The Killers have a holiday album (Red) which is a way better gift than two stinkin front teeth – try Don’t Shoot me Santa or Happy Birthday Guadalupe, actually they’re all great.
• Pretty much anything Mannheim Steamroller, Deck theHalls is particularly 90s-tastic
• Pretty much anything Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Carolof the Bells is a favorite (again, 90s-tastic)
• 12 Days of Christmas – Straight No Chaser (If you don’t smile at 2:00 you have no soul)
• Santa Clause is Coming to Town – Jackson 5
• All I Want for Christmas is You – namely the version with Jimmy Fallon, Mariah Carey, the Roots, and some adorable children
• I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas (who doesn’t?)
• Jingle Bell Rock – I like the tempo in the Glee version
• Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas – Ella Fitzgerald does it right
• Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) – Michael Buble
• Little Saint Nick – The Beach Boys
• BarenakedLadies have a Christmas album, check it out, especially Sleigh Ride
• As does Twisted Sister – give Deck the Halls a listen
• Winter Wonderland – The Eurythmics (for your 80’s fix)
• And while you’re at it give a listen to some Annie Lennox Christmas Cornicopia – perhaps God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
• Jingle Bells – Brian Setzer Orchestra

There are just so many spectacular ones; this is hardly a comprehensive list.  Send me your favorites and I’ll add them in!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Doesn't matter what you give, the kid just wants to play with the box

Christmas 2011

Training Songs of the Moment from Music Therapist Bailey

We’ve all been there: trying to rock a tough set of intervals but the wrong song keeps coming up on shuffle, in a spin class where the music  wasn’t synched to the actual workout, or at a race where the music does the opposite of getting you in the zone.  A spin instructor (of mine who is pretty darn good an aligning the music, by the way) tells a story of actually falling asleep slumped over his handle bars at the start line while Semisonic’s “Freshman” was blasted through the PA system.  Fortunately, there’s a flip side of this; we all have songs that can excited us, pull us out of a bad mood, or power us through a tough workout. 

As a music therapist (well, a soon-to-be music therapist), it is my job to understand how music effects our brains and bodies.  In short, we use music to reach functional non-musical cognitive, social-emotional, speech, and PHYSICAL goals.  Specific to exercise, research has shown that music can have an effect on recovery, endurance, and RPE (rate of perceived exertion) in training (read up on this a little here or here). 

I am often asked the question, “What should I listen to for a workout?” or “What is the best music for  … (fill in the blank with any random situation or experience)?”  Unfortunately, I can’t give you a specific set of songs and send you on your way with the promise of inner peace and athletic dominance (if I could I would market that sucker and be a bazillionaire).  The key is choosing music that YOU enjoy and are motivated by.  For most people, an upbeat tempo and strong rhythm is great for training; that bill can be met in any number of genres and the key is to find something that suites your individual taste.  That said, I can offer a few suggestions based on what works for me.

So, what is triathlete/music therapist Bailey listening to these days?  Here is a list of current songs that I find good for training – this is not my “all time” list (perhaps I’ll make a part II with that list someday) but pieces from the last six months or so that have the power to bring a tough training session from blah to blam!  I’ve done my best to put these into 3 categories (Sprint/grit sessions, tempo work/ long intervals, and shiny happy keep the long run/ride rolling) but there is admittedly a lot of crossover – do with it what you will.

Grit Through it Sprint Sessions

• Bleed Out – Blue October (this one lends it’s way to a spin hill climb particularly well)
• Sail – AWOLNATION (I think of this more as a lifting song)
• Radioactive – Imagine Dragons
• My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark – Fall OutBoy (This was my unofficial get pumped song of the season)
• Tessellate – Alt J. (Another lifting song)
• Gas Pedal – Sage the Gemini (So embarrassing to admit but it makes me want to destroy)

Long Intervals and Tempo Work

• Counting Stars – One Republic (Starts off slow so but pretty good once you get past that part)
• Wake Me Up – Avicii
• Pompeii – Bastille
• Work B**ch – Britney Spears (This was running through my head the whole time in Oceanside)
• Roar – Katy Perry
• Timber – Ke$ha and Pitbull (Another guilty pleasure of mine)
• Can’t Hold Us – Macklemore and Ryan Lewis

Shiny Happy Kee the Long Run/Ride Rolling Songs

• Pumpkin Blood – NONONO
• Ways to Go – Group Love
• The Mother We Share –CHVRCHES
• House of Gold – Twenty One Pilots
• On Top of the World –Imagine Dragons
• Chocolate – The 1975
• Shot at the Night - The Killers

I’m sure there are a few I’m missing and I welcome your input in adding to this list.  Comment with what music gets YOU working!  I’m also considering putting out a holiday themed workout playlist.  Would that interest anyone?

Happy training!

Thankful Thirty (And the Power of Positivity)

I cannot believe November has already come and gone!  I managed to fall off of the #thankfulnovember bandwagon on Twitter after all of three days.  I am incredibly fortunate in my life and grateful for my many blessings.  It is easy to get caught up in the daily struggles of life, especially during the hustle and bustle of the holidays, and to allow the negative to overshadow our many positives.  Not good.

Kicking off Thanksgiving right with Turkey and Pie for my 1st place finish at our local Turkey Trot

Research has shown that positive thinking has a whole slew of benefits on both our mental and physical health.  To name a few, positive thinking is said to improve immunity, reduce stress, increase resiliency, lower rates of depression, increase resistance to the common cold, lower the risk of death associated with cardiovascular disease, reduce frailty in old age.  Positive thinkers are even believed to have a longer lifespan when compared to their Debbie-Downer counterparts.

I must admit that I have a tendency to catastrophise situations and let negative feelings snowball.  After a harsh but much needed “snap out of it” talk with my dad a few weeks ago, I realized that I need to actively WORK on looking at the glass half full (and to be honest, it usually is).  Experts recommend using positive self-talk to improve mood and increase optimism.  However, if you’re already in a funk, it can be tough to flip on the “happy thoughts” switch.  The Mayo Clinic offers a few tips on doing so, including: Identifying negative thoughts in order to change them, check in with yourself throughout the day in order to get yourself out of a rut, be open to humor, exercise, eat well, surround yourself with positive people, and actually practice positive self-talk.  For more tips, check out the article here. 

In my quest to be a more positive and optimistic person, I’ve decided to complete my “November Thankful Thirty” list, identifying just a few of the things in my life I am most grateful for.  So, here it is, in no particular order, my 2013 30 Thankful list!

1. My family and their complete support of me as I work towards my future in athletics and in music therapy.  I am so fortunate to be from a family in which I wasn’t spoiled but never wanted for anything either.  Not all kids get family support from dance and piano lessons as a kid to help in college, to support through graduate school!
2. That I didn’t get into grad school for voice performance: it sucked at the time but boy has that one turned out for the best.
3. My cousin Jacqueline and the deep friendship we have grown since we were babies and been given the opportunity to foster in this time I’ve been back in Wisconsin. 
4. All of my coaches, especially Jon “Mace” Mason at MP Multisport for the unending support and guidance he’s given me both personally and athletically and Coach Reu at FAST Masters for the mental toughness he instilled in me.  Really, for ALL of the coaches I’ve had over the years (Danner, Muentner, Wendy, and Tess).
5. My tri team at CSU and the tri community as a whole– they’re not only friends but an inspiration!
6. My best friends at North Central College and the way we remain like family.
7. ALL of the friends I have in my life – even those I may have fallen out of touch with mean so much to me.
8. The SUNSHINE!  I cannot express how much it puts a smile on my face when that big yellow globe is out.
9. The changes I have made in my life to become healthier: I have never felt better!
10. That I am lucky enough to have been blessed with good health in general.  I have friends and loved ones struggling with cancer, addiction, illnesses, and a whole slew of problems.  These people are stronger than I ever want to have to be and are such an inspiration.
11. Triathlon – I have no proof of this but I’m convinced it saved me in more ways than one.
12. That I happened to find and subsequently choose a not overly well known profession in music therapy.
13. That I studied abroad in college – how cool is that?!
14. Having had foreign exchange students in high school – it gave me two new sisters and broadened my horizons.
15. My brother, Ryan, and sister in-law, Lib – they have been so supportive of me and never ask a thing in return.  Also, I am beyond excited and thankful for their twins due this spring!
16. My bicycles – love them all, especially my first road bike Belle.
17. That I rediscovered a love of running –how sad to think it could still be out of my life.
18. Coffee. 
19. For failure.  It is always so hard to swallow at the time but every time I’ve fallen it’s done nothing but drive me towards better things.  My mother says I’m “like a cat” – always landing on my feet no matter the situation. 
20. Being from a sailing family – what a joy to be out on the water.  I suppose more in general, that I’m “outdoorsy” and am surrounded by people with similar interests – it would be such a bummer to sit around inside all the time.
21. That I have not yet been in a serious bike or car crash (major knock on wood).
22. My camp family and having been a camp counselor – those summers and experiences really helped to shape my life.
23. That my life’s dreams are all starting to come together!
24. Books and the fact that I’m a reader.
25. Every time I’m called “mini” or “tiny” – it sure beats the crap out of being told I’m an inspiration because I still race well as a ‘bigger athlete’ (that really stunk, by the way).
26. Yoga – it’s wonderful for the mind and body, thank goodness I can do it!
27. My Tempurpedic bed – grateful every time I get in it.
28. All of my sponsors through MP Multisport: Brooks, Discover Massage, Provelo, Training Peaks, and Sport About.
29. For my faith and the strength and guidance it has provided me with.
30. The opportunity of each new day!

What a wonderful life and family I have to give thanks for!

References:

http://psychology.about.com/od/PositivePsychology/a/benefits-of-positive-thinking.htm

http://psychology.about.com/od/PositivePsychology/f/positive-thinking.htm

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/positive-thinking/SR00009

A Little Bit of Crazy

The off season is a funny thing.  We look forward to it all year, dreaming of a Saturday morning spent in bed with a cup of coffee or a Sunday afternoon drinking a beer on the couch in front of the football game.  However, when those long awaited weeks off are finally upon us we turn into twitching fools: counting the days until base season is upon us and guiltily sneaking in workouts like kids sneaking a peak at the presents hidden in Mom’s closet as they count the days until Christmas.

Actual time to relax? Who would enjoy that?

My season ended a bit over a month ago and I enjoyed the break for all of four days.  On day five, however, I woke up feeling like a sluggish, cranky blob.  My poor parents spent the next week and a half avoiding proverbial land mines as I had angry and/or tearful outbursts at the mere mention of training.  (I did, however, console myself with some quality relaxation and time with family/friends – something that I really had been missing).  I think it’s fair to say that most people look at my inability to relax as a bit obsessive or overly Type A; but from where I’m sitting it’s a little different. 

Blessing of the off-season: Hiking with high school cross country buddy, Teagan

And hiking with my lovely cousin, Jacqueline

Off season training? Running with some matadors from a pesky bull sounds sufficient.

Outside of ‘literally’ and ‘actually’ I am of the belief that ‘passion’ is one of the most improperly used and overused words in the English language.  We say we are passionate about a whole slew of hobbies, jobs, sports teams, and products when what we really mean is we enjoy those things.  Passion, I feel, should be designated for something deeper, something that comes with a little crazy.

While pursuing a degree and career in opera, I touted myself as being passionate about music and performance.  However, after graduating, I decided to take a few months off of singing as I healed from the stress and emotional wounds my pursuit had recently inflicted.  Months turned into years as I realized I didn’t miss either the anxiety or the thrill of performing in the slightest and realized a career change was in order.  (For more on this, check out previous post “Beginnings” from Oct 2012).

I dressed a little differently in my singer days (2009)

As I faced my startling lack of passion, I kept thinking back to a good friend from college who was filled with the stuff: Maxx Popp.  Maxx is a drummer.  If you were to enter the music building at North Central College, nine times out of ten, Maxx would be there.  Finally, one day I asked him how much he practiced each day, he shrugged and told me about five or six hours (outside of general lessons and rehearsal times) as though it was nothing.  What’s more, is that wasn’t Maxx’s only drum time; when not in a rehearsal room, Maxx was most likely to be found drumming at home, jamming with other musicians, or listening to and studying music.  When he wasn’t actually drumming, his hands would twitch and you knew he was going through solos in his mind.  I shudder to think what would happen to that poor kid if he suddenly couldn’t drum.  Now THAT is passion. 

Maxx NOT drumming circa 2008

As a triathlete, I’ve grown to think it normal to train 25 hours a week (well, during base at least) and to then spend my free time reading or thinking about it.  I somehow think nothing of fitting in two hours of training before leaving for work at 8 am and then a few more when I get home at six though I know it sounds a bit absurd to tri muggles.  I struggle not with keeping a training regiment but with letting it go for a while. 

I think it’s safe to say I’ve found that elusive passion they speak of and it’s a beautiful thing.  My determination comes with a little crazy, probably more than a little, but it has brought me great joy.  My heart goes out to those who have not yet found their obsession or who have allowed themselves to be fooled with excuses or the easy way out.  I tell you, spending five hours training on a Saturday sure beats the heck out of five hours watching marathons of “Project Runway.”  My advice?  You won’t know your passion until you stumble upon it, so get out there and try new things!  It doesn’t matter in the slightest how old you are, I have a client who found a passion for running in his sixties and another who discovered she loved piano in her seventies.  Whether it is baking, scrapbooking, art, music, sport, or any number of things: once you find your life’s love, go after it with fearlessness and a bit of unbridled fearlessness because that is where happiness lies.

Happy to be back to training, no matter the weather!

For more on the off-season and actually dealing with it, check out MP Multisport’s (my coach’s) awesome blog “Last Race of the Season? Now What!?” at http://www.mpmultisport.com/1/post/2013/09/last-race-of-the-season-now-what.html