Head Games

I wrote this mid-December and forgot to post it (oops) but the point is still the same a month later!

“Ok, last hard set of the day,” Coach told us, “12x25 under-overs on :35.”  This is possibly my least favorite set.  For those who don’t know what this is, it is a length of the pool completely underwater followed by another length of the pool at a sprint with no breaths (six times).  While 35 seconds isn’t a short interval, it feels like an incredibly fast turnaround when the wall is the only time you can take in any oxygen.  I groaned but prepared to complete the set.  I’ve been working on hypoxic training the last few months and know I can physically push myself to do a set like this (no matter how uncomfortable).  However, a funny thing happened this time.  Following my first underwater 25, I took a look at the clock knowing I’d only have about five seconds to recover.  But instead of taking a few breaths and pushing back off the wall, my body seized up.  I couldn’t seem to get a breath in.  On the next wall, I hopped out of the pool; I sat on the side of the pool hyperventilating for a minute before I realized that I wasn’t going to “pull it together” and ran to the bathroom where I promptly collapsed and burst into tears.  Much to my dismay, I was having a (mild) panic attack.  After a few minutes, I calmed down and jumped back in the pool.  I didn’t give the episode a second thought until halfway through track practice the next night when it (almost) happened again. 

I don’t like talking about mental health issues.  I like to stand here, pretending I have all the answers and that I am the strong one at all times.  Unfortunately, that is simply not the case.  After writing a paper this past semester on how cognition and “choking under pressure” affect athletic performance, I’ve come to realize that many athletes are hindered by anxiety.  Therefore, I’ve decided to swallow my pride and share a little insight here. 

As athletes, we work hard to condition our bodies and expect them to thank us by performing at a few key times (ie races).  However, despite meticulous attention paid to nutrition, perfect detail recorded for heart rate and power, and endless hours logged in training, we tend to neglect one of the most integral parts of our bodies: the mind.  I won’t bore you with the details (contact me if you want them) but essentially; research shows that in many cases the difference between a great athlete and an elite athlete is the ability to remain relaxed under pressure. 

I am not one of those people. While I’m not prone to episodes like the one I described above, I have had several races in which I did not reach my full potential because I shut down mentally (as described in a few of my previous blogs).  However, despite wanting to work with athletes and in sports psychology (through music therapy) someday, I have long resisted admitting that my game could use a little help in this area.  This is the season that I admit I need to work on my mental strength and relaxation.  I believe that this aspect of training and preparation is what will help push me to the next level of athleticism.

In order to negate the stigma associated with addressing one’s mental health, I believe it is best to compare mental health to physical health.  For example, if you have a cold, it is probably best to eat chicken soup and get lots of rest.  However, if we ignore symptoms or if the nap doesn’t work, that cold may progress to a sinus infection or bronchitis in which case a quick stop at the local walk-in clinic should get you fixed up in no time.  Unfortunately, every now and again, that infection will continue to progress and you find yourself with pneumonia, meaning some heavy duty medical care. 

In mental health, it is not much different (I’ll relate it to our sport for the purpose of this post).  Every now and again, you may start to feel sluggish or that workouts have become a chore.  This can probably be fixed with a few days of rest, some relaxed and fun workouts (like trail runs), talking with a close friend or loved one, and a beer.  However, sometimes this rut lasts a little long or stress and anxiety may start to build (ie panicking in the pool).  At this point, it’s probably best to bring up your concerns to your coach (I know mine had a lot of wisdom to offer when I was finally honest about how I was feeling).  In a particularly rough patch, though, a quick fix may not work, too much stress could result in a season of poor races or in constant stress related to training (this can even result in physical injury if the body is holding too much stress).  At this point, it is best to seek a little professional help.  A psychologist or counselor may be able to help you to better understand where your anxiety is coming from and to develop appropriate coping mechanisms. 

Personally, I didn’t take care of myself mentally when I was a high school athlete.  Not only did I end up stressed out and slower, I grew to hate running so much I hardly ran (and didn’t compete at all) for about five years.  Multisport has brought me so much joy that it pains me to imagine myself or anyone else growing to hate the sport.  After talking to my coaches and having a few quality workouts (long ride/run = therapy for me), I think my little anxiety episode has passed (though I still freak when I have to hold my breath too long).  However, I will not hesitate to seek further help should stress or anxiety continue to haunt me.  I believe as athletes (and as human beings) we stand to benefit from letting go of our pride and admitting that sometimes our minds need a little work and that we cannot do it alone.

So, yes, I do like to think of myself as a pillar of strength; but the truth is, even the mighty pyramids eventually erode unless a restoration crew comes in every now and again to provide support.  Thanks Coach Mace and Coach Reu for dealing with my tears and fears :)

Hard to forget the joy of running when views 

like this are practically in your backyard

A little cross-training (in this case xc skiing) helps me to relax a little