Rising from the Ashes

Our nation’s natural disasters have hit a little close to home over the past few months.  In June, Colorado’s wildfires created a cloud of smoke and ash over my community for over a month, devastated landscapes, forced my dear friend Megan to evacuate her home for weeks, and left one of my professors (and hundreds of other families) homeless.  The images are shocking as the intense heat burned or melted entire properties to nothing.  Then, just as the snow came to town and allowed us to breathe a sigh of relief, the upper east coast was hit with one of the most devastating hurricanes in its history.  While I have never before given much thought to hurricanes, this one scared the socks off of me as my boyfriend and almost his entire extended family were in the storm’s path.  While thankfully no one in the family was hurt, some of their homes were badly damaged.  Ian’s grandmother’s home, located on a series of canals near Long Beach Island, was hit the hardest.  When the storm surge came in, her home was flooded with about two feet of sediment and water and her car was nearly submerged.  The plumbing, heat, and electricity were essentially made worthless, the walls were waterlogged, all furniture and appliances were destroyed, and nearly every porous item in the house (including shoes, blankets, clothing, books, and pictures) was beyond salvageable.  The family has been working endlessly for the past few weeks trying to keep the mold at bay and to begin the long process of recovery.

This past weekend, Ian and I traveled to New Jersey to assist the family.  The devastation was beyond belief.  Every street was lined with enormous piles of discarded furniture, appliances, drywall, and personal items waiting to go to the dump.  On the island, the streets and yards appeared as though an enormous sand-colored blizzard had hit the town with drifts and plowed piles of sand lining the streets.  Most stores and restaurants were still closed and some homes no longer resembled any type of habitable structure. 

But people can be strong.  After both the Colorado fires and Hurricane Sandy, it seems as though the people had superhuman strength in their ability to start rebuilding and moving towards the future.  Homes are already going back up among the foothills and residents and contractors in the east are already rebuilding homes (on stilts for many this time).  However, this sentiment is not global.  Several homes along the shore had clearly not begun the recovery process (their front yards stood out like a sore thumb in the absence of a massive garbage pile).  Many people say they will never live in the mountains or along the ocean again.  Fear and grief can be crippling.  Ian talked a lot about resilience and the importance of continuing forward movement in the face of adversity, something his family was demonstrating incredibly.

The importance of resiliency is not exclusive to natural disasters.  Disasters of some level are bound to happen in all of our lives at some point but we are given the choice of how to face these disasters.  I cannot help but think of the obstacles many athletes face and the character shown in facing them.  For example, a friend of mine was diagnosed with a rare neurologic disorder a few years ago.  After surgery, she was told she would probably never walk again.  Refusing to be limited, she not only learned to walk again, but started to run again and has become one of the highest ranked para-triathletes in world. 

While few of us will ever face such adversity in our athletic careers, injury, illness, and even a series of bad races can be devastating in their own right.  Another one of my friends was injured last winter/spring, forcing him to the sidelines for collegiate nationals and much of his spring/summer season.  He could have easily given up or abandoned hope.  Instead, you could find him every day, looking like a weirdo, wearing a flotation belt and “running” in the deep end of the pool.  Aided by mental toughness, he came back better than ever and was on the elite podium in Dallas by the end of the season. 

As I’ve stated in previous posts, I am currently working on my personal resiliency.  I recently watched a short documentary on the British super-triathletes, the Brownlee brothers.  It is interesting that both of them mentioned the satisfaction they feel in overcoming an injury or a particularly tough race.  One can hear stories like this from most of the world’s most successful leaders and athletes.  Hunter Kemper overcame what many considered to be career-ending injuries to qualify for his fourth Olympic games.  Andrew Starykowicz was not only injured but imprisoned in Abu Dabi after crashing into a volunteer in early 2012 but has set his sights on 2013.  While some are infinitely more fortunate than others, clearly no one has it perfect.  True champions are not those who get lucky but those who dig in their heels and show a little grit.  As the saying goes, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”  So, the next time the alarm seems a little early, the sun rises a bit too late, or the mercury drops a little too low: get tough and get going! 

To help those affected by natural disasters, please go to: http://www.redcross.org/templates/render/render.jsp?pageId=11400031&scode=RSG00000E017&subcode=paiddonationsbrand&gclid=CPa8hPPl3rMCFYYWMgod8HIAEg

Looking classy in our waterproof-tellatubby hurricane clean-up outfits

Goodbye to Excuses

My original idea on this post was to be inspiring.  I was going to say how I had a rough week but bicycle wisdom helped me overcome every problem and slay all my dragons.  Unfortunately, life is not always that simple and sometimes that slain dragon rears its ugly head and refuses to die.  So instead of a fairly tale, I present you with the ugly truth of how I learned something about myself this week and what I’m doing to move forward.  (feel free to skip over the first part if this looks too long and you don’t really care about context)

You may or may not know that I am currently working on my research project as part of my masters in music therapy.  Things had been progressing very nicely for the last month and I was even ahead of schedule.  While I made jokes about waiting for the shoe to drop, I silently (and foolishly) believed that things would continue to float along.  Why did everyone think this was so hard?  Boy was I wrong.  By the grace of God (and a tip from my friend Su), I double checked the deadlines to submit my proposal to the integrity review board.  Somehow, I had missed that they met in December and my last chance to submit before January was a mere one week away.  This was bad.  I had a lot of logistical issues and revisions to deal with and this deadline was serious.  Submitting in January left a good chance that I wouldn’t be able to graduate in May (which could create a whole slew of new problems).  Well, I stayed calm, made a schedule, contacted who I needed to, did what I could, and hoped for the best through the weekend.

On Monday, I was still feeling optimistic until I got home from class and running errands around 2:00.  In my email inbox sat the revisions from one of my advisors.  Now, when an email begins with, “Don’t panic, I’ve been there,” you know it isn’t going to be pretty.  In front of me appeared several weeks worth of work and my looming deadline was a mere three days away.  I panicked.  Not knowing what else to do, I went for a bike ride to think and clear my mind.  As I came to the top of one of the hills I frequently do repeats on, I had my “moment of inspiration” that I thought this post was going to be about.  My realization was that life is not defined by our easy moments.  You don’t get the downhill without the climb, there is no finish line without the race, and there is no happy ending without the struggle to find it.  I would face this obstacle head-on and I would overcome it.

Easier said than done.  Back at home, I had a quick Skype session with Ian and then faced my computer screen ready to work.  Panic began to creep in and my chest tightened.  I Skyped Ian back (he made the mistake – bless his heart – of asking what was wrong) and I promptly burst into hysterics. He eventually calmed me down and got started chipping away at my project, surrounded by a cloud of misery.  The next morning, I continued to work, taking frequent breaks to fume at my misfortune.  Why had my advisers not informed me of the December blackout dates?  Why had my professor made so many changes?  Why was my other adviser not getting back to me?  Shouldn’t I have gotten more guidance? Why did I choose to do a thesis at all?  I was quick to blame anyone and everyone (everyone except myself, that is). 

The next morning, I woke up before dawn as usual and headed to 5:45 am swim practice.  As I pulled on my cap and goggles, my Masters coach, Rue, came over for a little chat.  He informed me that he had been reviewing my race reports and believed he had discovered something.  In all of the races I was unhappy with, I reported getting “too comfortable” or “letting myself settle in.”  His plan to fix this, Rue informed me that I would be doing something really tough that I would hate at the end of every practice until spring.  Oh boy. 

After practice, I couldn’t shake what Rue had said about my pattern of getting comfortable; it’s more than that.  I do not like being uncomfortable or out of control.  I have always been this way (despite years of adamant claims that I was the go-with-the-flow free spirit type).  This has long been personified by my relationship with food and exercise, my love of cleanliness, and my detailed scheduling.  Additionally, I tend to make excuses and blame others for my shortcomings.  I blamed my small hometown for my unhappy adolescence, I blamed my parents’ strict rules for my teenage rebellion, I blamed my collegiate music department when my performance started to slip, and I was doing it now with my thesis. 

I realized (mid-run, of course) that this need for control and willingness to blame others has created a terrible pattern.  When things don’t go according to plan, I often panic over that loss of control, quickly blame circumstances or people outside of my power, and use this as an excuse to give up.  While it’s all turned out for the best, I wonder if I quit singing because I truly didn’t love it anymore or if it was just too hard to face the reality of the difficult future ahead of me when I didn’t get into graduate school.  

Most commonly, I see this on the run portion of a triathlon.  I always feel great through the swim and bike but lose confidence on the run and therefore don’t push myself the way I should.  I distinctly remember this happening at 2012 collegiate nationals.  I got off of the bike in a very strong position but as I made my way through the run course, more and more girls flew past me as though I was standing still (and I didn’t pass a single one).  I am ashamed to admit that at one point I found myself wishing an old injury would act up or my stomach would cramp so I could have an excuse as to why I ran so poorly (eventually, it was a self-fulfilling prophecy and I cramped worse than I ever had in my life).  I gave up. 

Thankfully, that is not the end of the story.  I eventually called my mom on Thursday who reminded me of how much I’ve overcome in recent years, how I’ve changed so many of my habits and negative thought patterns, and how strong of a woman I’ve grown into.  And of course, because mothers always are, she’s right.  It is through internal strength, not blaming or defeatism, that I’ve fought to overcome many of my inner battles, how I’ve developed strong and positive mental health, succeeded thus far in graduate school, and found joy in the sport of triathlon.  While the control-blame-quit cycle is a pattern within my failures, it is not a pattern which controls my life. 

As I jump full force into base training this week, I have a few new goals for myself.  1. Be ok with losing control a little and deviating from my plans.  I continue to work on my faith in God that there is a bigger plan and things will all work out in the end even if I can’t see it in the moment.  2. Don’t play the blame game.  Every time I make an excuse, I will work to counter it, forget the excuse, and face the situation head-on.  3.  NEVER GIVE UP.  I plan to extend my limits and push myself just a little farther every time I’m ready to quit.  With these three simple rules in my playbook, I’m excited to see what is ahead as training amps up again.   I hope Coach Mace, Coach Rue, and my teammates hold me accountable so I can truly find the best within myself.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, that proposal got submitted on Thursday with a whole two minutes to spare.  Onward.  

Finding some bike-induced inspiration

Sho

Showing a little grit: that is NOT the face of a quitter :)

Scheduling: Make it Work!

Earlier this week I took an hour off from my day and got coffee with a girlfriend (something we’ve been trying to plan for at least two months now).  In catching up on each other’s lives she finally looked at me in wonder and asked, “How do you have time for ALL of that?!”  Good question.  As a full time graduate student with a job I’m pretty booked up.  Throw tri training in there and that doesn’t leave a whole lot of breathing room.  For the most part though, I love being reasonably busy and wouldn’t have it any other way!  I wrote an article for my team’s newsletter on this subject a few months ago so I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone (saving time, hint hint) and rework it for you!  I apologize in advance that much of this post is from a student perspective but I’ll do my best to broaden the scope. 

                                                      

We’ve all heard it (and said it more than we’d like to admit): “I don’t have time to train.”  Whether you’re a student like me, a parent, a working professional, or any combination of the three, we all undoubtedly have a slew of obligations.  I firmly believe that getting it all done is a matter of prioritization and time management.  It took me until the second half of my second year of grad school to really figure this out, so hopefully you can learn a little from my mistakes!

First rule: just say no.  Despite popular belief, you do not need to be everything to everyone.  Yes, hobbies are important, but there are not enough hours in the day to do it all, so try to pare it down to those which you are most passionate about (ie triathlon).  Also, you don’t have to be on every church/club/school/community board, you don’t need to volunteer to be in charge of every position, and you don’t need to lead every group.  Figure out what is important and what is possible and don’t take on more than you can handle.

Make creative social and family time.  Hopefully you are friends with people who have similar interests to you (such as everything swim-bike-run).  Then, organize study groups with friends, runs with a buddy, and rides with your significant other, make training fun and social!  I don’t have kids but I’ve heard a running stroller or a bike trailer are an amazing workout.  This will encourage you to train and keep you from feeling isolated and overwhelmed with all you have to do.  This may require a little planning in advance.  Even if you’re lucky enough to have a triathlete for your better half (like me), chances are you aren’t the same pace.  It’s easy to do a trainer ride, track workout, or a pool swim with multiple ability levels but that doesn’t mean you have to confine yourself to these areas.  Ian and I figured out that his easy runs/rides are about the pace of my steady but tough tempo work. 

Create a schedule every day, every week.  I cannot express the importance of scheduling enough.  I’ve found that the more time I think I have, the more time I waste.  Therefore, it is beneficial to write out a plan of what I’ll be doing every hour of the day.  Include as much as possible in your schedule, including classes, workouts, homework time, meetings, family time, and social time (it may be excessive but I even include things like eating and showering). 

Multitask!  It’s true, sometimes there are simply not enough hours in the day to do everything we need to.  Therefore, from time to time you need to make your time count double.  Set your bike up on your trainer or go to the gym for a spin or treadmill workout and bring your books!  While obviously not fun or ideal, workouts can offer a few hours of uninterrupted study or paperwork.  If you have a trainer, set it up by a counter or high table with your computer directly in front of your aero bars.  It can be difficult to type and search during hard sets, but it’s more than possible while in a long or recovery set.  If you’re a student and classes are recorded, you can also re-watch them as a study tool while riding.  When you swim, put key concepts or difficult study materials on a piece of paper in a plastic bag.  Put it at the end of the lane and check in with your material between sets.  School or work ultimately come first so find ways to make life and training work together. 

Balancing triathlon training with your daily obligations is a matter of prioritizing.  Decide now what you really want out of this season and what you are willing to sacrifice to get there.  If your only goal is to stay in shape and have some fun that is more than fine!  However, if your goal is to compete at a national championship or to set a particular pr, training needs to be a constant part of your life.  Good luck and happy training!

My multitasking bike setup

Couples who train together ...

(to be fair, we weren't actually working out here, even if we're dressed for it)

"Goals are Dreams with Deadlines" - Diana Scharf Hunt

Here I am for day two as promised!  I’ve decided that reading a series of race reports would be extremely boring to write and even worse to read.  So in a nutshell I’ll just say I’ve worked pretty hard, had some fun, and dropped a lot of time.  In case you care, my current PRs are a 2:20 for Olympic and 4:55 for 70.3.  But, I believe that (at least at this point in my career) times posted or podiums climbed are less important than the goal’s I’ve set for myself. 

There is no better time to consider goals than now.  My season ended about three weeks ago so I’ve been resting up, focusing on my studies, playing with a bit of cross training, and counting the days until base training begins.  Having some time outside of a training plan has given me some time to contemplate my 2013 ambitions and devise a plan to achieve them.  I always have trepidations in stating goals in writing or out loud because I then feel even more let down if they are not met.  But hopefully stating it out loud will make it more concrete and inspire me even further.  So here it is: by the end of the 2013 season, I hope to race a 2:10 oly and a 4:30 70.3.  To drop this much time I am going to have to continue building my base, stay healthy in the spring and focus on speed work, and (more than anything) really clean up my diet and drop about 20 more pounds. 

Yes, my goals are lofty.  I am well aware that hitting these times will not be easy.  However, what’s the problem in setting your sights high?  For example, after racing my first oly in 2:56, I set a goal to race under 2:30 by nationals (2011).  While I only got my time that race down to 2:34, it was still a 22 minute drop and four months later I hit that 2:30 mark.  This year, my goal was to race 2:20 at collegiate nationals.  Once again, I was extremely disappointed when I raced 2:26.  However, my work was not wasted and I eventually raced that 2:20 at the 2012 age group national championship. 

“But hey,” you say, “You promised this wasn’t a race report, what’s your point?!”  My point is that success does not come easily.  It takes hard work, dedication, and above all, perseverance. Disappointment is bound to happen in every athlete’s career but we have the choice to let it hold us back or to use it as fuel to work even harder. 

So as I prepare to jump back into training, I leave you with one more analogy.  You may have to take more than one shot to reach your goal and you may even have to move the target.  But as Wayne Gretzky once said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”  

Showing off some hardware with a few teammates (Steve and Sarah)

Follow me at https://twitter.com/tri_bailey

Beginnings

Blogging.  Well, everybody’s doing it so I may as well too, right?  So here I am to document the ups and downs of my adventures as a triathlete.  I can’t imagine my training and racing are too terribly exciting so I’m guessing this will be a bit more of a cathartic journaling endeavor than actual reading material for cyber tri-geeks.  But just in case I’m underestimating my appeal, I’m going to kick this all off with a two part special addressing my past, the ups and downs of racing the past few years, and my goals for the future.  Be excited because today enlightens you on a bit about my background and my rather untraditional start in the sport!

I was born and raised in rural Wisconsin with some great parents and a big brother (Ryan).  While my parents are not competitive athletes, we were always a very active family doing all sorts of fun things like sailing, camping, swimming, biking, camping, hiking, and skiing.  At a pretty young age, Ryan took to the water and emerged as the athlete of the family.  He was quickly recognized on the local, state, and regional level.  By the time he was in high school, Ryan was swimming on the Junior National team and at major competitions such as the Olympic Trials.  Trying to be like him, I swam from about ages 8-11 before realizing I was terrible and hanging up my miniature Fondy Flyers swim suit.  

I found my own niche in the arts participating in music, drama, and dance.  My one athletic endeavor was running distance (cross country and track) for my high school.  I enjoyed running and showed some promise my first few years of high school.  In the off season I ran with my dad every day and saw some serious improvement my sophomore year.  Unfortunately, I became a bit obsessive.  Reading running magazines, I adopted marathon training plans without consulting my coach or considering the fact that I was only 16 years old.  Over trained, tired, and anxious, I used food as a coping mechanism and gained about 20 pounds over the course of one summer despite training upwards of 20-30 hours a week.  My body and brain were toast and my high school career was all but over.  I still ran cross country (albeit slower) but foot surgery my junior year and a slight rebellion the next kept me off the track. 

In college, I put all of my passion into the arts, majoring in voice performance with a minor in theatre.  Completely burnt out from high school, I abandoned exercise and on my own for the first time, my eating habits fell apart.  That plus the addition of weekend “extracurricular activities” meant I gained not 15 but the freshman 20 … in ten weeks.  Through college I yo-yo dieted and occasionally worked out (though always obsessively and never in a smart healthy way).  While it was one of the best experiences in my life, my low point was the result of a semester abroad.  I hurt myself soon after moving to Salzburg, Austria which disallowed me from almost all exercise.  I “had fun” and dealt with homesickness by “enjoying” all of the rich local food I could get my hands on and drinking rich German beer on a nightly basis.  Upon arrival home, I was nearly 190 pounds (and I’m a little less than 5’2”). 

I started to enjoy athletics a bit more my senior year after joining a weight lifting and “multi activities” class, basically a kick in the butt workout class taught by the school’s award winning wrestling coach, Kevin Bratland.  In addition to getting stronger, I began to like running again and starting swimming laps somewhat consistently for the first time in over ten years.  But more on this in a bit.

After graduating, things once again fell apart for me.  I wasn’t admitted into a single conservatory or graduate school for opera performance and I realized I had absolutely no direction for the future.  I took on seasonal work which was a wonderful experience but proved somewhat disastrous to my health as unlimited delicious but not nutritious food came with my employee housing and the vacation culture led to a mass consumption of adult beverages.  By the time I decided to get my life together and apply to graduate school (in music therapy this time), I was once again as wide as I was tall with no self esteem. 

I joined a gym, started working out, made friends with a trainer, started counting calories, and started to feel a bit better.  In March of 2010, it came time to buy new running shoes.  As an employee was helping fit me, he asked what I was training for. “Life,” I responded.  Feeling dumb, I glanced down and noticed he had on a shirt from a triathlon and I awkwardly blurted out, “well I’ve been thinking about doing one of those triathlon things.”  He encouraged me that it would be lots of fun, packed up my shoes, and sent me on my way.  That night, I researched triathlons and decided I wanted to train for one in Door County, WI.  They only had a sprint and a half iron distance.  As a former distance athlete, I decided the sprint looked “way too easy” and without consideration to what I was doing signed up for the 70.3.  The next day, I bought a swim cap and downloaded a training plan.  I was so blind to what I was doing that it never crossed my mind that maybe I couldn’t do it.  I trained exclusively in a pool (no open water) and on an indoor stationary bike (not even a real spin bike).  My parents bought me my aluminum road bike a mere three weeks before my race.  I raced in a water skiing wetsuit, baskets on my pedals, no aero bars, no fancy tri suit, and no experience.  I even took the time to sit down on a bucket and apply deodorant in transition!  But I did it.  I finished in 5:46:26, well under my goal, and had a smile on my face the whole time.  Though I had planned to only race once, I signed up for another race two weeks later and never looked back. 

Tune in tomorrow for part two: And It Keeps Getting Better.  I promise it’ll be shorter than this one (but to be fair, I had 23 years to cover)!

Follow my adventures at https://twitter.com/tri_bailey

Bailey circa 2007


 All smiles after my first race